This story basically starts back in November, when I was part of this society thing that had weekly meetings that lead up to a debutante ball. The underlying purpose of this was to meet new people who were in your "social sphere" as it were. After dance practice we would have these parties where we could talk to one another in a more informal place.
Talk to people I did! At one of these after parties a rather charming, although oddly dressed (Like when a color-blind person is fashionable. It all looks good, but there's something a tad off.) fellow came by and introduced himself to me. We then proceeded to have a rather charming conversation about our jobs. I didn't have one at this point, but it seemed gauche to say that to this crowd (Although, there were some very wealthy people there who didn't work, I wasn't one of them.). I can't say that the conversation lasted more than ten minutes but I did stop thinking he was an odd dresser after that.
Time flew by, we chatted more and more and then the winking started. It was almost constant, but really, I just ignored it, like it was a non-event. Honestly. The brain process thing just wasn't working with me all that well but after a while, I started to think it was cute. He friended my on facebook, I think right around that time he introduced himself to me. I remember thinking, "Why is he friending me?" and "What the hell, I might as well accept him.".
More chatting/winking/small conversations continued. Towards those last few weeks we started to have longer discussions and I even commented on his facebook status one day, giving advice to which he actually followed. Hm, so he did end up doing that, I remember thinking to myself, since..gosh...I don't know it was like a month ago.
Things really took off the night of the ball. We just basically hung out with one another all night with fairly thick sexual tension. Seriously. I won't get into the nitty gritty of it all because it's rather self-explanatory. I don't know why he didn't make a move but it sure did seem to me that we both were expecting the other person to make a move first. We ended up not even kissing, although he did give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I kind of expected him to talk to me after that. That didn't happen. This threw me into a world of confusion.
What the fuck? Why hasn't he emailed? Why hasn't he called? Why hasn't he instant messaged me? That evening couldn't have gone better.
This really threw me into a loop because this seriously has never happened. It's A->B->C. You would think the guy would call to seal the deal, even, at the very least!
I ended up emailing him to talk about the ball. He responded fairly quickly and cheerfully though still, nothing happened.
I decided to invite him out for coffee because at the very least, it was just coffee and I also figured, what the hell along with my mother telling me that I could be amazingly aloof at times (I can't imagine what he thought the first twenty times he winked at me and I just looked blankly at him.). He accepted, saying it sounded like a great idea.
We met, he was on time. He gave me a hug. He paid. He gave a loud tip (dropping coins into the tip jar) and we sat and chatted for a good two hours or so. He never seemed like he was in a rush to leave and even told me that. He did say that he had been extremely drunk at the ball.
"Oh.", I replied. Great, now I have to deal with this whole alcohol factor. How does THAT come into play?
"You don't drink though, right?"
"Yep."
"Never?"
"Nope, although I have drunk, I don't drink any longer."
"That's too bad.", he said with a slight mischievous smile.
Pause (brain processing what he just said, slight blinking on my part)
"What?!", I said with an incredulous smile. I know you readers have probably never seen those two words together, but yeah, that's what it was. Oddly enough, I've seen it so many times that I've gotten into the habit of giving incredulous smiles myself.
We ended the date after he did have to go to some personal thing, although at the end we gave one another a shoulder hug (no kiss on cheek) and he said to me with what had to be the most soulful eyes, "We should definitely do this again.".
"Okay! Bye!", I cheerfully waved goodbye.
I think that I didn't do anything at this point because I was automatically holding myself back for him to take the lead. A tad more...directly instead of indirectly.
Another week of non conversation goes by.
More thinking/confusion ensued.
What the fuck? The dude said he 'definitely' wanted to do that again. So why isn't he calling? And it isn't like he was being polite, or he wouldn't have done all that other stuff when we were having coffee. And what about all that other stuff at the ball? Did I imagine all this stuff? No. I didn't. I can be thick at times, but I'm not that thick.
I sent another message, thereby going into the territory no woman should ever go into. I've certainly have never called and initiated a "date" (whatever the fuck that all was) with a guy twice in a row. Yeah, there's the occasional, "Hey hon, want to go see a movie?" when I date some guys, but normally, I let the guy take care of that stuff. Although admittedly, I have recently (in the past year or so) been taking more of a role in the "What are we going to do tonight." discussion. This went hand in hand with the rise of my confidence.
When I wrote him, he told me that he would be out of town but would be coming back on X date.
Ok, so, he told me when he was coming back. Why? Why is he so weird to me? When I'm not interested in a person, I simply don't talk to them. I don't tell them my plans. I don't tell them when I'm coming back. Unless you're a friend though, but even then.....I would talk primarily about who and what I was going to be doing and not when I was coming back. I.E. "I'm going to Boston for the weekend to sleep and play video games with my friend. I'm really looking forward to it." or "I'm going to Vermont to go camping with a bunch of hippies who like to play trance music all night while communing with nature. Should be fun.".
So you can see my confusion. Two weeks later I emailed him again and asked him if he wanted to grab a cup of coffee. Thus began "The Five Hour 'Date'".
Although he was hungover the day we met, he did say that it would be nice to see me. I was touched as I remember some wicked hangovers where I did NOT want to talk to anyone.
He greeted me with a big hug and kiss on the cheek of which I was slightly surprised as he hadn't done that last time.
We talked, chatted, etc for a while. He mentioned he had a friend in town. We talked about how I did modeling and he asked me when he'd see me on the cover of a magazine. He then invited me back to his place.
"Is that okay?", he said.
Finally
"Yeah, it's fine, I mean....you have stuff to drink there, right?".
"Yeah."
"Okay, let me use the bathroom then."
I got into the bathroom and closed the door. Okay, it's finally happening. As soon as we get there I'm going to jump him.
I went out to meet him at the front.
"Let's go for a walk to the park first."., he said.
Touching.
I asked him what his friend was doing and he said, "shopping.". Lo and behold we walk by a store that I was interested in and mentioned something about wanting to get something from there online when he suggested we just go in.
"Okay." as I bounded/bounced to the store. I couldn't find what I was looking for so we continued on our merry way. He said that if I wanted to go into any store that it was totally cool with him.
We walked to the park. It was closed.
"Is your friend at your place?"
"No.", he replied rather curtly with an almost disgusted/irritated expression.
Okay, I won't be asking anymore questions about THAT then.
We continued walking.
"Where are we going?", I finally asked.
"I don't know."
"Okay."
"What to go play some pool?"
"Okay."
What about his place?
And so we went to go play some pool. It was touching. We had fun. He paid some more. I offered, although he of course said, "no" until, I guess, I had finally asked so many times he said, "okay" with a small smile.
During this game, he came up to me and nuzzled my neck. I just kind of stood there because I didn't know what to do. I think I may have patted his back.
We went to sit down where I proceeded to give him a few sultry looks. Nothing. We chatted some more. I was actually kind of getting bored. He asked me if I was dating anyone or had a boyfriend. "No", I replied. "I go on dates though, actually this one guy took me to the opera and it was kind of a disaster because he had really high/cheap seats and I got scared up there because it felt like I was going to topple over so I ran out after the first song. He was really disgusted with me. He did tell me that he got the cheap seats though and I hadn't realized how high those seats really were.".
"What an idiot.", he said. "He could've waited in line for some cheap seats that are available in the orchestra precisely for that reason.". (I'm editing here, but yes, they do exist and I forget exactly why but apparently some lady bought a bunch and they resell them for people to enjoy the opera when they have no money.)
I told him that I had dated a few other guys and that the last one had cheated on me, at which he shook his head with disgust.
"You're dating the wrong people."
"Okay."
We sat there for a bit in silence. Did I mention that there was no winking by this point? He also started seeming like an odd dresser to me again.
"I don't understand the U.S. dating system.", he continued. He is from Sweden.
"What don't you get about it?"
"The entire thing.".
"How do you date people then? Do the girls just fall into your lap?"
He smiled.
"Sometimes.".
"Or do you guys just get really drunk and then see what happens?".
"Sometimes.", he replied, still smiling.
At this point he looked exhausted, so I said, "Are you sure that you don't want to go home?".
"No.", he said curtly.
"I meant just you, you look exhausted."
"I'm fine."
We sat for a few seconds more in silence.
"How about you, what's your dating situation?"
"Mine?", he replied rather surprised and slightly irritated.
"Yes, well, you asked me and now I'm asking you."
He waved it away.
"I've dated a few people, but I fell in love with my best friend who wasn't interested in me. I'm still getting over that and it's been a year."
"A year?!", I said with another incredulous smile.
"Well, it seems like that."
"Wow.", I replied.
We chatted some more and he said something about how these hangover days were good for just chilling out and hanging out with friends, as he motioned towards me. Then he excused himself to the bathroom. A minute later a fellow sat down and asked me a question about the bar. I don't know why he sat down, but he got up when the guy came back. He (the guy I was supposedly having "coffee" with) looked at him.
"Making new friends?"
"Well, he just had a question about something."
He sat down again and then said that he wanted to go someplace else.
"Okay."
I'm getting bored here. I like spending time with him, but this is so boring. We've run out of things to talk about and he seems really tired and slightly grouchy. And what is up with his "friend" whose visiting him and why do I have a really strong feeling that it's the same girl he said he was in love with? And why the fuck did he just nuzzle me and then call me his friend?
We went to the bar where he said he had spent most of his time trying to get over the girl, especially in the beginning. This did not sound good to me. We stayed and chatted for a bit more but by this time, it was like five hours in and I was just...so....fucking...bored out of my mind. I felt bad though, kind of guilty. He seemed like he wanted me to stick around, but at the same time, since mentioning this other girl, he seemed to get more and more depressed and cranky and alternated between turning away from me at times to joking around with me. I didn't like that.
He asked me what I wanted to do and I said, "What do I want to do? I want to go home. I'm tired."
He stood there and nodded.
Then I asked him if he was going to walk me to the subway. He said no, that he was going to wait for his friend to meet him there.
"Okay."
"You know your way, right?"
"Yeah."
He gave me a big hug and kiss on my cheek.
The hug ended and he said something like, "Let's email one another." but I can't be sure as I had already turned away. I half turned back.
"You know you can email me, right?", I replied. Slightly irritated.
He looked scared. Kind of like when my cat does something he's not supposed to and I've caught him.
"Bye", I said. More irritated.
I left and knew a few things almost immediately.
A) He needs to get over this girl.
B) I'm not talking to him again because omg that was so boring/ slightly irritating and it felt like I was just keeping him company and I'm not going to be that desperate.
C) What the fuck happened?
I defriended him when I got back home and otherwise fell off the face of the earth as far as he is concerned.
I was slightly disappointed. Massively confused. I know one thing though and that is that I am never going to contact him again. I just can't do that again. He needs to figure out whatever he needs to figure out and I am not going to be one of those girls sitting in the sidelines, always available.
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1 comments:
Hmm. Maybe his "best friend" isn't a girl.
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