So that didn't work.

I spoke with my doctor the other day about finally getting off of wellbutrin. Since I can't say that going from 300 to 150mg xl was extraordinarily difficult, we both thought it wouldn't be extraordinarily difficult going from 150 to nothing. Wow, was I wrong. I didn't take my saturday morning pill and by 2am I was gripped with feelings of such loneliness that I called up my mother, took a cab to the outer boroughs where she was staying (she usually is with me in Manhattan) and spent the night there. By night, I mean four hours of sleep as we had to take care of something super early in Manhattan. Yes, I realize I could've slept longer if I had stayed, but I just couldn't. I needed a warm comforting body near me, like I was some sort of warm fuzzy, dependant on warm and fuzzy scenarios and people.

Anyway, the warm fuzzy thing was still with me Sunday. Though I made do, and got some sleep, not enough though. I felt absolutely exhausted, foggy headed and nauseous. And slightly dizzy. I fucking hate feeling dizzy.

At night, in the bathtub, I knew I wasn't going to make it through this week at work, feeling the way I did. I needed a place and time where I could be near my mom and at home. There were such thoughts of despair like you wouldn't believe! I knew it would clear up, but reading about withdrawal on webboards gave the indication it would take a week or so. Usually it takes me two weeks.

So, my mom and I decided to wait until like July 4th until trying it again. My doctor agrees due to some other outside stressors that are present now but won't be later.

I took the pill again this morning, and while I felt slightly better, I still was exhausted and generally felt like I had the flu, without any coughing or sneezing. A bad flu. I had stiffness, foggy headed-ness.General "blah"-ness and crying spells. Oh, the crying spells.

Anyway, at least I gave it a shot and maybe my doctor will come up with a better way. He is very, very smart and the head of hois department, so I have full faith in him. I really wish I could've made it off of it. They should really have like, rehab places for stuff like this. To go to and detox.